The Happy Complex

Feeling stuck in burnout with no hope of escape? Here’s some ways to get un-stuck from burnout.

Burnout bubbles over when you overwork, so it’s easy to think “I just need a vacation.” The bad news? Burnout isn’t just about being tired, it’s a symptom of deeper issues. A week off won’t magically fix it. The good news? You can make meaningful progress on burnout recovery even when you can’t walk away from your job.

Quitting sometimes isn’t an option. In those times, finding accessible, realistic ways to recover is the only way forward. These are five habits that helped me (and might help you) rebuild energy, self-trust, and joy without blowing up your life.

Rebuild Trust (With Yourself)

When you’ve been in survival mode for too long, you start running on the bare minimum. That can leave you with a bad reputation… with yourself. You stop believing you’ll follow through on your own needs.

To rebuild that trust, you need consistent proof that you can show up for yourself, even in small ways. That’s where a low-pressure self-care habit comes in.

How to start:

• Keep it small, easy, and motivating
• Focus on just one need at a time to avoid overwhelm
• Consistency is key, so make it low-effort to maintain
• Avoid habits that could slide into unhealthy territory

For me, it was an at-home movie night every Friday at 8 PM. It wasn’t skill-based, it wasn’t a side project for money, and it couldn’t evolve into one. It was a protected space to check in with myself and ask: What am I in the mood for? What do I actually feel like?

At first, those questions felt completely foreign, then they felt like luxuries. But over time, they became the foundation for recognizing and respecting my needs. Like any relationship, trust with yourself grows through small, repeated acts of care.

Set S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Burnout thrives when your effort never seems to match your results. If your goalposts keep moving or if they’ve always been a grey area, you’re never able to reach that satisfaction of a job well-done. 

The fix? Prove to yourself that your actions do lead to a result by setting crystal-clear, achievable goals.

Try:

• Making them Specific and Measurable
• Keeping them Achievable and Relevant to what matters now
• Giving them a realistic Time-bound window
• Starting super small and only adjusting if it feels good

For me, it started with the classic 1,000 paper cranes project. It was accessible, clearly defined, and easy, small goals with one big goal in mind. It was also free from grey area – you’ve either made a crane or you haven’t and you’ve got a countable number of them.

Other easy, goal-oriented ideas:

• Crosswords, sudoku, Wordle
• Kid’s puzzles or activity books
• Tracking workouts or personal bests
• Video game quests or trophies

These aren’t just “fun distractions.” They’re training your brain to see that effort leads to results, and results feel good. You’re learning that there IS a point, and you do contribute value to your projects. 

Set yourself up for lots of little wins and see that confidence return.

Express Yourself

Severe burnout puts you in survival mode, and that means prioritizing “needs” over “wants.” Over time, you lose touch with your preferences, your boundaries, even your identity.

Self-expression is the antidote. And no, it’s not just about art. It’s about finding any safe space to discover more about yourself.

Look for things that allow you to

• Express your thoughts
• Explore your desires
• Play to your feelings (not your skills)
• Avoid unhealthy habits (familiar is not the same as desired)

Options to try:

• Vlogging
• Starting a collection
• Working with animals
• Creating boards on pinterest
• Joining a discord or other online community
• Playing with personal style
• And yeah… journaling, song-writing, painting, all the cliches

Writing blogs and making vlogs was the first space I actually started to introduce myself to me. I needed an avenue where I was able to talk and explore without shame or judgement, drop the mask, and find my authentic self.

This isn’t just about becoming a fashionista or writing songs about heartbreak, this is about learning how to identify and vocalize your own needs, feelings, and boundaries. Burnout is a symptom of deeper issues, like chronic people pleasing, or trauma responses. Somehow you’ve lost the ability to recognize boundaries and say no when they get crossed. 

It’s also about learning how to explore your own passions and fill the void that work and survival mode used to take up. Allowing yourself space to experiment and explore gives you a chance to find out more about yourself and find healthier ways to fill your time. 

Explore, find your voice, and let it grow. 

Invest in Yourself

In survival mode, money habits often swing between two extremes: overspending for quick comfort, or clinging tightly to every penny. I was firmly in the “resource-guarding” camp — always saving for the next emergency, never for joy.

It took a big medical bill for me to realize: I always found money for the bad stuff, but never for the good.

Shifting that mindset:

• Create a balanced budget that includes:
  • Essentials (rent, groceries, transport)
  • Savings
  • Self-care essentials
  • Fun & play — even if it’s $5/month
• When deciding to spend (or not spend), ask:
  • Am I acting from fear, stress, or sadness?
  • Will this meet a need, solve a problem, or bring me joy?

Satiate your needs – not just hunger and thirst, but practical solutions and self expression, too.

When you’re stuck in a cycle of over or under spending, you’re reinforcing to your brain that you’re in danger. By taking a step back and questioning that danger before indulging in the impulse to act on it, you allow your brain a chance to see safety.

Meeting your needs — practical, emotional, and playful — tells your brain you’re safe. And safety is the foundation for recovery.

Collect Your Glimmers

A “glimmer” is the opposite of a trigger — a small, sudden spark of joy, peace, or calm.  It’s a glimmer of hope that you’re still in there among all the weeds and thorns and tough stuff. 

When you first start out on your mental health recovery journey, those moments are spontaneous, elusive, and hard to define. You may not know quite why one moment feels a bit better, and you may struggle to recreate that feeling.

For me, it was afternoon sunbeams, the smell of a library, and sitting with my feet in a pool or the ocean.

Because they’re hard to find, it may help to:

• Create opportunities to play
• Explore new and novel experiences
• Revisit abandoned things that used to bring you joy
  • Remember it’s okay if you don’t find joy in those things again

When you catch a glimmer, linger. Practice being in the moment and allow yourself to be imperfect or impatient – be the voice of love and acceptance that you didn’t get.

Taking the time to sit with those little glimmers of hope, joy, and stillness is another way to reinforce that you’re not in constant danger. In fact, you’re in a happy place, even if it’s just for a moment.

Final Thoughts

Across all these habits, the pattern is clear:

• Start small and consistent
• Understand why your current patterns formed
• Create safe spaces for self-expression and joy
• Advocate for your needs and passions
• Reinforce a sense of stability and safety

Regardless of your opportunities or situation, there are ways to incorporate these habits slowly and grow them over time. Trust the process and stick with it. Even if you fall off-track, it’s okay. Don’t see it as a failure, see it as a pause and come back when you can. 

One thing that I heard a lot but didn’t fully comprehend is that it will be painfully slow. Way slower than you even think is too slow. 

It was helpful for me to learn that burnout recovery takes YEARS of dedicated recovery to literally re-shape your brain into healthier patterns. I wasn’t going to recover overnight or even a summer break of self-care. After all, I hadn’t done the damage overnight, I wasn’t going to recover that way either. 

But you can heal. Give yourself the patience, love, and imperfection you needed all along. Keep showing up for yourself, even if it’s just in small ways. Those small ways add up. They always do.